What To Cut During Revision (And What To Keep)

Gary Smailes | 18 November 2025

Set Clear Criteria for What Earns Its Place

Cutting works best when you know what earns a seat on the page. Otherwise you snip at random and regret follows. Give every unit a job description, then demand results.

The Two-Job Test

Every paragraph, scene, or section should do at least two jobs. Examples of jobs:

• Move plot or argument
• Reveal character or authority
• Raise stakes
• Develop theme
• Build world
• Sharpen voice

Quick test:

• Highlight one unit.
• Write two purposes beside it.
• If you struggle to name two, strengthen or remove.

Examples:

• Fiction. A scene where the detective interviews a neighbor. Jobs, advance the clue trail and expose the detective’s bias through word choice. Bonus job if the setting shows neighborhood tension.
• Nonfiction. A paragraph defining sunk cost. Jobs, clarify a term and prove authority with one research citation or short example.

Mini exercise, ten minutes:

• Pick one chapter.
• Mark one job in blue, a second in green, a third in purple.
• White space signals dead weight.

Write a Short Revision Brief

A one-page brief guides hard choices when fatigue sets in. Keep it visible.

Include:

• Premise, one sentence.
• Promise to the reader.
• Target audience.
• Genre or category conventions.
• Comp titles.
• Word-count range that suits the shelf you want.

Sample, novel:

• Premise, A burned-out paramedic tries to quit, then a sinkhole swallows the city hospital.
• Promise, High-stakes disaster story with accurate medicine and a hopeful close.
• Audience, Readers who enjoy fast, grounded thrillers.
• Conventions, Escalating set pieces, ensemble under pressure, moral tradeoffs.
• Comps, The Hot Zone vibe meets Station Eleven pace.
• Range, 85–100k.

Sample, nonfiction:

• Premise, A field guide for first-time managers at small tech firms.
• Promise, Clear steps for one-on-ones, feedback, and hiring without HR fog.
• Audience, New managers and founders.
• Conventions, Frameworks, checklists, case snapshots, plain language.
• Comps, The Making of a Manager, Radical Candor.
• Range, 55–70k.

Every cut or keep decision answers one question, does this serve the brief.

Build a Style Sheet

Consistency feels like professionalism. A style sheet protects choices across drafts and stops copyediting scrapes later.

Create a simple doc with sections:

• Names and spellings, Jon vs John, café vs cafe.
• Hyphenation, email or e-mail, decision fatigue across the book.
• Numbers, numerals vs words, money, time.
• Capitalization, department names, titles, in-world terms.
• Timeline, birthdays, ages, season, weekday, time of day.
• World rules, magic limits, tech level, geography.
• Voice choices, contractions, dialect boundaries, slang approval list.
• Recurring terms, metaphors, motifs, banned words.

Sample entries:

• Voice, Fragments allowed in interior monologue. Keep sentence variety. Avoid sports metaphors.
• Capitalization, Department names lower unless formal title, finance team vs Finance Director.
• World rule, Portal opens only at dawn. No exceptions.

Update after each pass. Future you will cheer.

Make a Reverse Outline

A reverse outline exposes duplicates, orphans, and weak links. Start with what exists, not what you wish existed.

How to build one:

• List every scene or section in order.
• For each, record purpose, outcome, POV, setting, word count.
• Add a column for role in arc or argument.

Tiny example:

• Ch 3, Rooftop argument. Purpose, force a choice. Outcome, partner walks away. POV, Maya. Setting, Riverview roof at night. Word count, 1,800. Arc, First pinch point.
• Ch 4, Police report. Purpose, deliver new evidence. Outcome, flips suspect list. POV, dossier style. Setting, station records room. Word count, 900. Arc, Setup for midpoint.

Now scan:

• Two scenes with the same function, merge.
• Scenes without change, cut or rework.
• A strong beat out of position, move.
• Thin chapters, fold into neighbors.

For nonfiction:

• Map each chapter to a claim and a result for the reader.
• If two chapters teach the same step, combine and reduce.

Set Measurable Goals and a Cut Bin

Vague goals drag revision for months. Precise goals create traction.

Pick targets:

• Trim 10–20 percent at the line level.
• Tighten the opening by one scene.
• Remove one redundant subplot.
• Shorten each chapter by 100–200 words on average.
• Replace three info-dumps with on-page action or brief summaries.

Create a Cut Bin file to park removed material. Label with book title and date. Inside, create headers by chapter. Paste cuts under the right header with a quick note, reason and page number. Examples:

• Ch 2, weather paragraph, mood achieved elsewhere, p. 17.
• Ch 7, second training anecdote, duplicate function, p. 106.

Benefits:

• Freedom to delete without panic.
• Easy reuse for newsletters, bonus scenes, or appendices.

Mini routine:

• Before each session, pick one goal from the list.
• After each session, log word count trimmed and decisions in a change log.
• Weekly review, compare against the brief and the Two-Job Test.

Clear criteria reduce debate and speed decisions. Each page earns a place or steps aside. You move forward lighter, sharper, and in control.

High-Value Cuts Most Drafts Need

Most drafts carry extra weight. Fast gains come from trimming common offenders. Start here.

Throat-clearing openings and preambles

Begin when something changes. Not five paragraphs earlier while warming up.

Quick test:

• Delete the first paragraph. Read page one aloud. If no confusion, leave it out.
• For nonfiction, jump straight to a problem, a question, or a bold claim. Save origin stories for later, or never.

Example, fiction:

• Before, “Morning light spilled across the curtains. She thought about coffee and bills. The day stretched ahead.”
• After, “The phone rang. The parole board moved the hearing to today.”

Example, nonfiction:

• Before, “For centuries, thinkers have wondered about motivation.”
• After, “You promised your team a deadline. You missed it. Here is how to rebuild trust.”

Scenes or sections with no change

Every scene earns a place by shifting status. Action, stakes, understanding, power, location, goal, something moves.

Tests:

• Write one sentence for entry state and one for exit state. If both match, merge or cut.
• Ask, “What new pressure or choice lands here.” No answer, no scene.

Example:

• Two friends chat about old times. At the end, they still want the same things. Trim to a line, or fold memory into a later scene where a decision lands.

Nonfiction parallel:

• A section explains a concept readers already know, and nothing new follows. Replace with one crisp line that signals, “Assumed knowledge,” then push forward.

Info-dumps and research dumps

Background matters, but readers want movement first. Thread context through action or argument in short lines.

Fixes:

• Break a paragraph of lore into one to three sentence slivers placed where stakes demand clarity.
• Use examples tied to the current goal, not a history lecture.

Example, fiction:

• Before, a page on the city’s water system.
• After, “The river feeds two lines, west and old. Everyone trusts west. The old line rattles and poisons. Tonight, the valves froze.”

Example, nonfiction:

• Before, four paragraphs summarizing five studies.
• After, “Across five studies, teams with weekly retros made fewer repeat errors. Here is the checklist I use.”

Redundancies

Saying the same thing twice feels safe during drafting. Readers feel the drag.

Hunt repeats:

• Repeated beats, grief described three times in one scene.
• Twin explanations, one anecdote and one metaphor chasing the same point.
• Echo sentences with slightly altered wording.

Fix:

• Keep the strongest instance at the right intensity. Delete the rest.
• If two paragraphs bow to the same idea, merge into one clean hit.

Mini exercise, ten minutes:

• Run a sweep for your pet words. Pick two. Search, list the ten densest pages, and compress.

Filler, hedges, and filters

Hedges sap energy. Filters block connection. Expletive openings waste space.

Targets:

• Intensifiers and softeners, especially in clusters. Trim or swap for a concrete action.
• Filters, felt, saw, heard, realized. Replace with the sensation or thought itself.
• Expletives, there is, there are. Rebuild the sentence around a concrete subject.

Examples:

• “She felt a chill creep up her back” becomes “A chill climbed her back.”
• “There are three reasons for failure” becomes “Three reasons drive failure.”
• “He realized the door was unlocked” becomes “The door stood unlocked.”

Weak modifiers and clichés

A strong verb or specific noun beats an adverb–verb pair every time. Clichés numb the page.

Upgrades:

• Walked slowly, strolled or trudged.
• Said softly, whispered.
• Very tired, exhausted. Replace vague intensifiers with one exact word.
• Avoid mixed metaphors. No storms colliding with roller coasters.

Quick pass:

• Highlight all -ly adverbs in dialogue tags and narrative. Keep the rare few that earn a place, delete the rest or change the verb.
• Trade “nice” or “interesting” for what made the thing worth noting, a jagged laugh, a lime-green suit, a question no one wanted.

Over-detailed stage directions and micromovements

Readers do not need every shrug, turn, or door handle. Compress movement to the beats that carry meaning.

Cuts:

• “He stood up” to “He stood.”
• “She sat down” to “She sat.”
• Skip mundane travel, “They walked to the door.” Jump to arrival unless the walk holds tension or conflict.

Exercise:

• Pick one scene. Delete half the actions. Restore only moves that change power or reveal mood.

Dialogue small talk and on-the-nose exposition

Dialogue earns space through desire, conflict, and subtext. Greetings and weather chat belong to drafting, not to print.

Trim:

• Start mid-conversation. End early.
• Remove info readers already know. If two characters share backstory for the reader’s sake, move that information elsewhere or hint through pressure.

Fixes:

• Replace small talk with a tactic. Bribe, tease, dodge, threaten.
• Reduce tags. Use action beats or rhythm to mark turns.

Example:

• Before, “Hi, how are you.” “Fine.” “Did you know the vault opens at nine.” “Yes, I know the vault opens at nine.”
• After, “You brought the card.” “Say please.” “The vault opens in three minutes.”

POV drift and head-hopping

Stay inside one mind per scene unless a clear handoff serves the story. Drifting robs tension.

Checks:

• One pronoun perspective per beat. If a line reports thoughts from two heads, split the scene or choose one lens.
• For nonfiction, keep stance consistent. Do not swap between I, we, and you without reason.

Repair:

• Add a clean scene break when you shift lens.
• If confusion lingers, add a grounding line, “Maya only saw the smile, not the shaking hands.”

Unnecessary scene breaks and timeline detours

Frequent cuts fracture flow. Time jumps confuse when anchors go missing.

Fix:

• Merge micro-scenes that share a goal and setting.
• Add time and place markers, Tuesday, before dawn, back lot, Section 2 outlines methods, Section 3 applies them.
• Keep flashbacks short and strategic. Tie each one to a present need.

Side characters, examples, or subplots that duplicate function

Two characters doing the same job split attention. So do twin examples or lookalike subplots.

Audit:

• List each named character and function, mentor, mirror, obstacle, comic relief. Merge where overlap appears.
• For nonfiction, map each example to a single teaching point. If two examples teach the same point at the same level, keep the sharper one.

Example:

• Combine Mentor A and Mentor B into one mentor with a stronger arc.
• Replace three near-identical case studies with one vivid case plus a one-line nod to variety.

Nonfiction-specific trims

Readers want outcomes, not throat music.

Trim list:

• Hedging on every paragraph, in my opinion, perhaps, somewhat. Keep nuance where stakes require precision, strip the reflex.
• Bloated intros and literature reviews that do not serve a specific claim. Move background to endnotes or a short appendix.
• Long quotes where paraphrase works better. Pull one punchy line, summarize the rest.
• Repetitive case studies. Vary industry, scale, or stage, or compress.

Speed drills:

• Cap quotes to two lines unless voice or authority demands full length.
• Convert three soft qualifiers to one concrete number or a named source.

Use these cuts to clear brush. Voice and stakes rise when clutter falls. Trim with purpose, then read aloud. Clean prose rewards both writer and reader.

What to Keep, Protect, or Even Expand

Cutting is half the job. The other half is knowing what deserves guard duty. These are the pieces that carry weight. Trim around them, not through them.

Specific, concrete details

Specifics earn trust. Generalities waste space.

• Fiction swap: “The apartment was messy” becomes “A crusted bowl on the stove, three mailers taped over a cracked pane, and a sock under the plant.”
• Nonfiction swap: “Leaders waste time in meetings” becomes “Monday standups ran 48 minutes, with 19 minutes spent listing tasks already in the tracker.”

One sharp image often replaces a paragraph of fog.

Quick exercise, five minutes:

• Pick a vague sentence. Replace with one image from a real object, number, or sensory cue. Read aloud. Keep the version that sticks in memory.

Voice, rhythm, and motifs

Voice separates your pages from everyone else’s. Protect phrasing choices, the pulse of your sentences, and any recurring lines that act like mile markers.

• Rhythm example: “Short. Then a stretch of thought that moves a beat longer. Then a snap.” That pattern forms tone. Guard it.
• Motif example: A recurring “yellow umbrella” in chapters 2, 7, and 20 frames a relationship. Keep all three. If one chapter goes during cuts, thread the umbrella into a survivor.

Make a note on your style sheet for slang, contractions, and pet constructions you want preserved. Tell future you, and your copyeditor, what stays.

Setups and payoffs

Readers love fairness. Promises made, promises kept. A planted detail in chapter two turns into a key in the finale. That cause for delight deserves protection.

• Plant: a character pockets a brass token at the carnival.
• Payoff: the token unlocks the gate before the storm hits.

Nonfiction version:

• Plant: “We will return to the 3x3 hiring grid once you see the pitfalls.”
• Payoff: grid appears where selection choices happen, with the promised pitfalls solved.

Before cutting a scene, make a quick ledger:

• What setups live here.
• Where those threads resolve.

If removal breaks a chain, move the setup into a surviving scene, or rebuild a small bridge line.

Interiority and interpretation

Action shows what happened. Interiority tells readers what it meant. That link carries theme.

Fiction example:

• Action: “She signs the confession.”
• Interiority line to keep: “She chose silence over his freedom, and the choice tasted like paper.”

Nonfiction example:

• Data: a chart shows churn drops after onboarding.
• Interpretation line to keep: “Churn fell once first value arrived inside 48 hours, so speed to first win drives retention more than feature count.”

Rule of thumb:

• After high-stakes action or a heavy data point, keep one or two lines that answer, “So what.” Those lines steer meaning.

Character choices and cause-and-effect

Readers track decisions and consequences. Protect beats where someone chooses, fails, or pays. Those beats form spine and stakes.

• Choice: the detective hides evidence to shield a witness.
• Consequence: internal affairs opens a file, partner loses trust, case slips.

Cut the commute. Keep the choice and the ripple.

Nonfiction parallel:

• Choice: you recommend a pricing change.
• Consequence: revenue shifts, support load changes, customer mix tilts toward annual plans. Keep the chain visible, with numbers.

Audit tip:

• On a scene card, write “Goal, obstacle, outcome.” If outcome equals goal with zero friction, either raise the bar or compress. Preserve the turn.

Nonfiction essentials

Promises to the reader outrank your research crush. Hold the backbone.

• Core claim. Make it testable, “Weekly one-on-ones raise retention for frontline teams.”
• Frameworks. If your method has steps, protect the order and clarity.
• Worked examples. Keep the ones tied to the claim, with enough detail for a reader to try the move tomorrow.
• Citations that lend authority. Quote names, years, or journals when credibility matters. Trim long quotations into clean paraphrase with one punchy line retained.

Speed check:

• Define the result in one sentence at the top of a section. Every paragraph under that heading should push toward that result. Pages that wander, move to appendix or delete.

Orientation aids that speed comprehension

Readers forgive almost anything when they never feel lost. Anchors and signposts earn their keep.

Fiction anchors:

• Time and place at scene start, “Tuesday, before dawn, county line.”
• Relationship reminders, “Her brother’s roommate, not a friend.”
• Clear spatial cues, “Back lot behind the bakery, rain in the bins.”

Nonfiction anchors:

• Topic sentences, “Three steps to reset trust after a blown deadline.”
• Section signposting, “First, apologize without a defense. Next, name the repair. Last, set a date to review.”

If early readers ask “Where are we” or “Who is talking,” expand anchors. Not with fluff, with one precise line that locks context.

How to protect these during cuts

• Label keepers. In your doc, bracket voice lines, motifs, and key images. Color works wonders.
• Before a major delete, run a quick integrity check for setups and payoffs, names, dates, and rules of the world.
• Read aloud. Voice-level choices reveal themselves by ear. If your mouth trips, shape the sentence, do not flatten the rhythm.

One last nudge. Sparse prose still carries flavor. Keep the flavor. Lose the water.

A Practical Decision Framework for Keep vs. Cut

Decision fatigue loves revision. Use a simple loop, use it every pass. Faster choices, stronger pages.

Tag the draft

Give every unit a job label. Five tags, no drama.

• Keep: stays as written.
• Cut: remove from the book or article.
• Compress: say the same thing in fewer words.
• Combine: merge with a neighbor for one stronger beat.
• Move: shift to a better spot.

Quick examples.

Fiction:

• Keep: “She pockets the spare key, then smiles at the security camera.” Plot moves, character shows nerve.
• Cut: “The moon hung like a pearl.” No new info, cliché risk.
• Compress: “He stood up and walked over to the window” to “He went to the window.”
• Combine: Two scenes of gossip at school, fold into one hallway encounter with higher stakes.
• Move: A clue revealed too early. Shift to the midpoint, raise payoff value.

Nonfiction:

• Keep: “Weekly one-on-ones raised retention by 12 percent within a quarter.” Claim plus data.
• Cut: A second anecdote that echoes the first without new insight.
• Compress: “In order to” to “To.” “Due to the fact” to “Because.”
• Combine: Two sidebars on onboarding pitfalls, merge into one checklist.
• Move: A case study better placed after the framework, not before.

Mark tags in the margin or with color. Red for Cut, green for Keep, yellow for Compress, blue for Combine, purple for Move. A rainbow of clarity.

Run the Two-Job Test

Every unit earns a place by doing at least two jobs. Options include:

• Advance plot or argument.
• Reveal character or authority.
• Raise stakes.
• Develop theme.
• Build world.
• Sharpen voice.

Audit example, fiction:

• Paragraph: “Nora deletes the voicemail, then texts Joel a heart.” Jobs: advances plot, reveals character. Pass.
• Paragraph: “The street smelled like rain.” Jobs: world detail only. Add a second job or remove. Maybe tie the smell to memory or danger.

Audit example, nonfiction:

• Paragraph: defines a term and tees up a step. Pass.
• Paragraph: repeats a benefit already stated. Add a statistic or cut.

Fail once, fix or delete. Fail twice, delete.

Build a quick reverse outline

Summarize each scene or section in a spreadsheet or a doc. One line per unit:

• Location or topic.
• Purpose in one clause.
• Outcome in one clause.
• Jobs from the list above.
• Word count.

Now scan for duplicates and orphans. Two scenes where nothing changes, merge or remove. A section without outcome, rewrite or cut. If one beat appears three times with equal intensity, save the strongest version and prune the rest.

Tip: rate intensity from one to three. A three deserves space. A one likely joins a neighbor.

Weigh reader signals

Readers show you where attention drops. Track signals, translate to action.

• Skim points. They flew past a paragraph. Compress or replace with a line of image or data.
• Confusion. They asked “where are we” or “who is speaking.” Add a clean anchor.
• Boredom. They wrote “meh” or stopped mid-chapter. Raise stakes, move the scene, or cut.
• “I already knew this.” Remove repetition or push to a footnote or appendix.

One client note to steal: place a “speed bump” emoji at each skim point, a “map pin” at each confusion point. Fix those first. Momentum returns fast.

Check word-count norms and pacing

Right size supports reach and readability. Rough ranges help with scope:

• Thriller: 80 to 100k.
• Romance: 70 to 90k.
• Memoir: 70 to 90k.
• Literary: 80 to 110k.
• Business or self-help: 50 to 80k.
• How-to or short manifesto: 25 to 45k.

If a draft sits far outside the range, target trims or expansions by section. Long slow opening, aim for one scene shorter. Bulky middle, remove a sub-plot or combine two examples. Thin ending, expand payoffs and consequence.

Pacing hint. Alternate long and short units. A run of dense pages begs for a quick scene or a tight list. Variety keeps eyes on the page.

Use a Cut Bin without regret

Separate file, simple rules. Title: Cut Bin, plus project name. Add date stamps. When you remove a chunk, paste it into the bin with a brief note:

• Source location.
• Reason for removal.
• Possible reuse: newsletter, bonus chapter, thread, talk.

This habit reduces fear. You are not burning work. You are moving words to a holding pen. Odds favor smarter reuse later.

Do an integrity check before you delete

Before removal, verify you will not snap a thread.

• Setups and payoffs. Track plants and resolves by name. If a scene holds a plant, move the plant line into a survivor.
• Logic links. If step B relies on step A, confirm A still exists. If not, add one bridging line.
• Timeline. Dates, ages, travel time, moon phases, world rules. Check once, save a week of clean up later.

Bridge examples.

Fiction:

• After cutting a dinner scene where the hero learns the code name, add one line in the next scene: “She whispered the code, stolen from the menu, and the lock clicked.”

Nonfiction:

• After trimming a section on sample size, add a bridge in the methods: “We used 214 responses, enough for trend-level confidence, not causal claims.”

A short workflow you can repeat

• Pass one, tag everything.
• Pass two, run the Two-Job Test on yellow, blue, and purple items. Fix or delete.
• Pass three, build or update the reverse outline. Remove duplicates and orphans.
• Pass four, apply reader signals.
• Pass five, adjust word count and pacing to norm targets.
• Pass six, prune into the Cut Bin. Label and date.
• Final pass, integrity check, then read aloud.

The loop gives you clear steps. No hand-wringing, no drift. Keep the best. Remove the rest. Move forward with a lean, coherent draft worth your name.

Tightening Techniques That Preserve Voice

Tightening should make your voice cleaner, not smaller. Cut weight, keep personality. Here is how.

Combine low-stakes scenes into one

If two scenes aim for the same beat, merge them. Give the new scene a sharper objective, a real obstacle, and a clear turn.

Quick plan:

• Objective: what the character or section wants.
• Obstacle: what blocks it.
• Outcome: what changes by the end.

Fiction example:

• Before: coffee chat with a neighbor, later a hallway gossip scene. Both share the same rumor. Nothing changes.
• After: one hallway scene where the neighbor tries to stall the protagonist from reaching the dean. Objective, reach the dean. Obstacle, neighbor blocks the path and drops the rumor. Outcome, protagonist misses the meeting and the rumor raises stakes.

Nonfiction example:

• Before: two case studies that show onboarding mistakes.
• After: one stronger case with numbers, then a three-item checklist of fixes.

Mini exercise: list three nearby scenes or sections. If two aim at the same point, outline a single scene that does the job louder.

Convert backstory or exposition to on-page action

Readers learn faster when context rides on action. Drip the past in one line at the moment it changes a choice.

Fiction:

• Before: “Ten years ago, Mia’s parents split, so she fears commitment.”
• After: “The ring box touched her palm. Mia pulled back, memory flashing of two signatures on a line. ‘Not today,’ she said.”

Nonfiction:

• Before: “Our industry has faced many challenges over the last decade, including regulation, supply chain issues, and digitization.”
• After: “Regulation tightened last year. Lead times doubled. Teams shifted to digital on the fly.”

Rule of thumb: if a sentence explains motive, try one action plus one sharp line that reveals the same thing.

Replace nominalizations and weak passives

Nominalizations turn verbs into fluffy nouns. Passive voice buries the actor. Shift to concrete subjects and active verbs when clarity needs it.

• “Conducted an analysis of” to “Analyzed.”
• “Made a decision” to “Decided.”
• “There was a failure in” to “The sensor failed.”
• “The policy was implemented” to “The team implemented the policy.”

Quick test: ask, who did what, to whom, when. Put that order on the page.

Compress wordy constructions

Shave the padding. Try these swaps during a line edit.

• In order to → To
• Due to the fact that → Because
• At this point in time → Now
• For the purpose of → For
• Has the ability to → Can handle → Handles
• A number of → Many or some, pick one
• The reason why is → Because

One pass, one search list, big results.

Swap adverb–verb pairs for precise verbs

Pick a stronger verb, lose the helper.

• Ran quickly → Sprinted
• Spoke softly → Whispered
• Looked angrily → Glared
• Walked slowly → Trudged or crept, choose the right feel
• Hit hard → Smacked or slammed
• Smiled widely → Grinned

Save adverbs for surprise or tone. If the verb does the job alone, let it.

Trade general description for one telling detail

Generic description fades. One concrete detail sticks and signals voice.

Fiction:

• Before: “The office was messy.”
• After: “A dead fern slumped in a trophy mug.”

Nonfiction:

• Before: “The team struggled with process.”
• After: “Five versions of the same spreadsheet lived in five different folders.”

Pick the detail that reveals character, stakes, or authority. Keep it. Remove the rest.

Compress nonfiction without losing authority

Trim with structure, not apology.

• Move tangents to a sidebar, appendix, or a short footnote.
• Turn a dense paragraph into a three-bullet list with verbs up front.
• Shorten quotes. Keep the punch line. Paraphrase the setup and cite it.

Quote example:

• Before: “As Dr. Lee states in her 2021 paper, ‘While many organizations believe they have a clear view of their pipeline, our data shows that cross-functional blind spots continue to create bottlenecks that slow delivery and erode trust across teams.’”
• After: Dr. Lee found cross-functional blind spots that slow delivery and erode trust. Cite the paper. Keep the verb.

Run targeted Find and Replace sweeps

Do focused passes. Do not fix everything at once.

Hedges and filler:

• Very, quite, really, kind of, sort of, perhaps, in my opinion. Cut or replace with a fact.

Filters:

• Felt, saw, heard, noticed, realized, thought, wondered. Try removing the filter and show the stimulus or the thought.

Expletive openings:

• There is, there are, it is. Rewrite to start with a concrete subject.

Wordy starters:

• Began to, started to, tried to. If the action happened, state it.

Echo words:

• Repeats within a page. Search for overused favorites. Swap or cut.

Mechanics:

• Double spaces. Inconsistent ellipses or em dashes. Pick a style and stick to it.

Keep a checklist. Run it near the end, when you will not break structure.

Read aloud to protect cadence

Your ear protects voice. Read the pages aloud, or use text-to-speech at a slow speed.

Listening checklist:

• Stumbles signal syntax problems.
• Breathless lines need a cut or a period.
• Monotone runs need a short sentence or a beat.
• Dialogue tags felt heavy, trim them.
• Humor flat, adjust setup or timing.
• Repetition that is intentional, mark it on your style sheet so no one sands it off later.

If you keep fragments, dialect, or a quirky construction, note that decision in a style note. Future you, and your copyeditor, will thank you.

A quick drill to practice

Pick one page. Set a five-minute timer.

• Combine two sentences into one tighter line.
• Replace one nominalization.
• Swap two adverb–verb pairs for precise verbs.
• Cut three filler words.
• Trade one bland description for a telling detail.
• Fix one expletive opening.
• Read the page aloud. Mark one line that sings, and one that needs air.

Small wins stack up. Tight pages, strong voice, cleaner book.

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