How To Write A Query Letter That Gets You Noticed

Gary Smailes
Gary Smailes | 16 December 2025
How to Write a Query Letter That Gets You Noticed

Query Letter Structure and Essential Components

Agents read hundreds each month. A clean structure helps you rise. One page, four tight paragraphs, clear finish.

Start with real personalization

Lead with a reason for this agent. Show research, not flattery.

Two lines suffice. Name, source, link if helpful, and the bridge to your project.

Mini-exercise: write three versions of this opener using three different specifics. Keep each under 40 words.

Follow with a hook paragraph

One sentence, two if needed. Protagonist, goal, obstacle, stakes. For nonfiction, problem and promise for a defined audience.

Use concrete nouns and active verbs. Avoid backstory, lore, or rhetorical questions. Tension belongs here, not in a later paragraph.

Quick test: read the hook to a friend without context. If eyes light up, you’re close. If eyebrows pinch, revise for clarity or stakes.

Add book details early

Give agents a frame fast.

One sentence pulls this together.

Example: THE WITCH KEEPER is a YA contemporary fantasy at 83,000 words for readers of These Witches Don’t Burn and The Nature of Witches.

Avoid movies and decades-old hits. Pick comps from the last two to three years. Match tone and audience.

Keep the whole message to one page

Target 250 to 300 words in the body. Agents skim. Tight wins.

A simple shape:

Cut filler and side plots. Strip adjectives that add haze. If a line repeats an idea, remove or combine.

Mini-exercise: paste your query into a counter. Trim to 280 words. Read aloud. Mark any stumble. Smooth those spots.

Close with a focused bio

Share credentials that support the book. Short and relevant beats long and friendly.

Good inclusions:

Examples:

Skip hobbies, pets, and family unless they directly inform expertise on the page.

Professional email format

Subject line:

Email body only unless guidelines invite attachments. Use a standard font, black text, and a readable size. No images, logos, or colored text.

Greeting:

Spacing and polish:

Contact block under your name:

If guidelines request sample pages, paste below the signature. Honor requested length and format. Keep scene breaks clear with simple symbols like ###.

A quick template you can adapt

Fill this, then trim until every line earns space.

Final checklist before sending

You control clarity. Give agents a reason to lean in, then get out of the way. Send a sharp letter, and let the pages do the heavy lift.

Crafting an Irresistible Hook Paragraph

Your hook paragraph does one job: make an agent want to read your pages. Not summarize your plot. Not explain your world. Make them lean forward and think, "Tell me more."

Most writers fail here because they think hooks need backstory. Wrong. Hooks need tension.

The fiction formula that works

[Protagonist] wants [goal] but faces [obstacle] and must [choice/action] or else [consequences].

This formula forces you to identify what drives your story. Not what happens in your story. What drives it.

Let's break this down:

Here's the formula in action:

Seventeen-year-old Maya must steal her coven's ancient grimoire before the blood moon or watch her younger brother die from a curse meant for her.

Notice what's missing: no backstory about how Maya became a witch, no explanation of coven politics, no description of the magical world. Just immediate tension.

Start in the middle of conflict

Agents read dozens of queries daily. They spot setup language immediately:

Setup language (avoid):

Conflict language (use):

See the difference? Setup tells us what happened before. Conflict drops us into the problem right now.

Try this exercise: Find the moment in your story where everything goes wrong for your protagonist. Start your hook there.

Use active voice and specific details

Passive voice kills momentum. Active voice creates urgency.

Passive: "Maya is faced with an impossible choice."

Active: "Maya must choose between saving her brother and destroying her coven."

Specific details beat vague descriptions every time:

Vague: "A young woman discovers her magical heritage."

Specific: "Twenty-two-year-old barista Emma learns she's the last dragon shifter in Seattle."

The specifics tell agents you know your character and world. Vague language suggests you don't.

What not to include in your hook

Rhetorical questions: "What would you do if you discovered you had magical powers?" Don't make agents work to understand your premise.

Generic descriptions: Skip "epic journey," "life-changing adventure," "world-shattering secret." These phrases say nothing about your specific story.

Spoilers: Stop before the climax. Create intrigue, don't solve it.

World-building: Save the magic system, political structure, and fantasy geography for your pages.

Multiple characters: Focus on your protagonist. Side characters muddy the hook.

Here's a hook that breaks these rules:

What happens when a young woman in a magical realm discovers she has the power to change everything? Maya's epic journey will take her across kingdoms and through dangerous lands as she learns about her heritage and fights the evil sorcerer threatening her world.

Now here's the same story with a sharp hook:

Maya has seven days to master her untested magic and kill the sorcerer who murdered her parents, or he'll sacrifice her village to summon an ancient demon.

The second version gives us character, stakes, timeline, and tension. The first gives us mush.

Test your hook as an elevator pitch

Your hook should work as a standalone pitch. If someone asks what your book is about, you should be able to say your hook and watch their eyes light up.

Try this: Read your hook to someone who doesn't know your story. If they ask clarifying questions about basic plot points, your hook lacks clarity. If they shrug and change the subject, your hook lacks stakes.

A good hook makes people say, "So what happens?" A great hook makes them say, "I need to read this."

Nonfiction hooks work differently

For nonfiction, replace the fiction formula with problem and promise:

[Target audience] faces [specific problem]. [Your book title] provides [solution/benefit] through [your unique approach].

Examples:

Working mothers struggle to advance their careers while managing family demands. "The Executive Mom" offers a proven system for leadership promotion through boundary-setting techniques used by 200+ successful women executives.

Small business owners lose $50,000 annually to poor cash flow management. "Profit First for Service Businesses" teaches restaurant and retail owners a four-week system to increase profit margins by 15%.

Notice the specifics: target audience, real problem, quantified solution.

Learn from successful hooks in your genre

Read query letters that worked. QueryShark archives hundreds of successful examples. AgentQuery connects you with deals in your category. PublishersMarketplace shows recent sales with agent names.

Pay attention to:

Don't copy. Learn the rhythm.

Common hook mistakes that guarantee passes

Starting with backstory: "After losing her parents in a fire, Maya moved to Salem to live with her grandmother and discover her magical heritage."

Info-dumping: "In the kingdom of Valdris, where magic users are divided into five schools and governed by the Council of Mages, seventeen-year-old Maya..."

Describing instead of dramatizing: "Maya is a strong-willed teenager who must overcome many obstacles on her path to becoming a powerful witch."

Multiple plotlines: "Maya must master her magic while solving her parents' murder and falling in love with a mysterious stranger who might be working for the enemy."

Each of these examples tells instead of showing immediate conflict.

Your hook checklist

Before you send that query:

Your hook is your book's first impression. Make it count.

Selecting and Presenting Comparison Titles

Comparison titles do heavy lifting in your query. They tell agents where your book fits on bookstore shelves, who will buy it, and whether it has market potential. Get them wrong and you've just told an agent your book is unpublishable. Get them right and you've positioned yourself as a professional who understands the business.

Most writers mess this up spectacularly.

The golden rule: recent, relevant, realistic

Your comps need three things: published within 2-3 years, similar to your book in meaningful ways, and successful enough to prove market demand without being outliers.

Recent means agents see current market trends, not your childhood favorites. The publishing landscape shifts fast. A comparison to a 2019 dystopian novel tells agents nothing about what readers want now.

Relevant means shared tone, audience, or thematic elements, not just surface similarities. Both books featuring vampires doesn't make them good comps if one is literary fiction and the other is paranormal romance.

Realistic means moderate successes, not mega-hits. Comparing your debut to Harry Potter tells agents you don't understand how publishing works.

Why mega-bestsellers kill your query

Every agent has heard "the next Harry Potter" or "Twilight meets The Hunger Games." These comparisons scream amateur.

Here's why: mega-bestsellers are lightning in a bottle. Publishers spend years trying to recreate that success and failing. When you compare your book to a phenomenon, agents think you're delusional about market realities.

Instead of reaching for the biggest names, find books that sold well enough to prove demand but not so well they're impossible to replicate. Think 10,000 to 100,000 copies, not 10 million.

How to research realistic comps

Start with Goodreads and Amazon. Look for books published in the last three years with:

Check publisher information. Traditional publishers (Big Five, established indies) suggest professional validation. Self-published books work as comps only if they have substantial sales and reviews.

Use PublishersMarketplace if you have access. Search recent deals in your genre and read the descriptions. This shows you exactly how agents and editors position books for market.

QueryTracker lets you search successful queries by genre. See what comps worked for books similar to yours.

The comp formula that works

"X meets Y" gives agents instant positioning. The formula works because it promises familiar elements in a fresh combination.

Good example: "Pride and Prejudice meets You've Got Mail"

This tells me: classic romance structure, modern setting, probably involves miscommunication and eventual love.

Bad example: "Harry Potter meets Twilight"

This tells me: you think naming popular books equals good comps.

Alternative phrasings:

Finding the right balance

Your two or three comps should cover different aspects of your book's appeal:

For a contemporary romance about rival food truck owners:

This gives agents multiple entry points to understand your book's market position.

Nonfiction comps work differently

For nonfiction, comp similar audience size, approach, or treatment rather than just subject matter.

Don't comp by topic alone:

Wrong: "Like Atomic Habits because it's about productivity"

Comp by approach and audience:

Right: "Like Atomic Habits, combines scientific research with practical exercises for busy professionals"

Consider:

Research actual sales figures when possible

Not all successful-looking books actually sell well. A book with 3,000 Goodreads reviews might have sold 5,000 copies or 50,000. Big difference for positioning.

Use these clues:

What not to comp

Movies and TV shows: Agents sell books to publishers, not Hollywood. "Game of Thrones meets Marvel" tells them nothing about book market appeal.

Classics: "Like Jane Austen but modern" doesn't help agents understand current market positioning.

Self-published mega-hits: Fifty Shades of Grey started self-published but became a traditional publishing phenomenon. Not a realistic debut comp.

Books outside your genre: Don't comp your romance novel to literary fiction just because you think it elevates your work.

Books by the same agent: Shows you did research, but suggests you don't understand broader market positioning.

Present your comps with confidence

Don't apologize for your choices or hedge with qualifiers:

Weak: "My book is sort of like X, but not really, and maybe similar to Y in some ways"

Strong: "THE MIDNIGHT BAKERY combines the small-town charm of Writing Compelling Plot Summary Without Spoilers

A strong plot paragraph proves you know how story works. Think setup, spark, decision, and looming cost. Keep the lens tight. Stay in present tense. Stop before the resolution.

Start where trouble starts

Begin with the status quo in one sentence. Then move straight to the disruption. No backstory dump. No world tour.

  • Weak: Nora grew up in a small town with a complicated family history and dreams of leaving, but first we meet her friends and learn about the annual festival.
  • Strong: Nora runs her late mother’s failing bakery. When the bank schedules an auction, a rival chef offers a lifeline that risks everything Nora values.

Short, specific, active. The agent sees a life, a threat, and a pressure point.

Center character choices

Events do not move a story. Decisions do. Highlight what your protagonist wants, what blocks progress, and what choice raises the stakes.

  • Passive: A storm destroys the research station, and supplies run low as tensions rise.
  • Active: When a storm wipes out the research station, Rae must lead a trek across the ice or watch her team freeze and her project die.

Agency lives in verbs. Choose, risk, refuse, confront, outwit, betray, protect.

Mini-exercise:

  • Write one sentence for each beat.
    • Setup: Who and where.
    • Disruption: What breaks normal life.
    • Goal: What the protagonist pursues now.
    • Obstacle: What stands in the way.
    • Choice: What risky move raises the price.
    • Stakes: What failure means.

You now hold six lines. Trim to four or five. Present tense.

Weave in emotional stakes

Plot stakes alone feel hollow. Add what the outcome means for the heart.

  • Plot-only: If Marcus fails to find the hacker, the hospital network crashes.
  • Plot plus emotion: If Marcus fails to unmask the hacker, the hospital network crashes and his sister’s surgery halts on the table, a repeat of the night their father died because of a system failure.

Now readers know why this person fights. The page turns faster.

Stop at the midpoint

Your job is to build tension, not resolve it. End around the midpoint or second act climax. That moment proves the premise and flips the board.

  • Good stopping point: After Mia breaks into the museum and steals the map, she learns her brother sold her out to the same crew hunting the artifact. To save him, she must deliver the map by dawn or take on the crew herself.

We see escalation and a sharper choice. No ending spoiled. Curiosity stays high.

Keep present tense throughout

Your manuscript might use past tense. The query summary uses present. Present tense carries urgency and clarity.

  • Past: Jonah had planned to propose after the marathon, but when a hit-and-run took out his running partner, he had to train alone and uncover who targeted their team.
  • Present: Jonah plans to propose after the marathon, but when a hit-and-run takes out his running partner, he trains alone and hunts whoever targeted their team.

Consistency signals control.

Trim names, lore, and side quests

One or two names, max three if unavoidable. No subplots. No minor characters. No glossary. If a detail needs a paragraph to explain, remove it.

  • Too much: Princess Liora, heir to Eryndor, must survive the Trial of Embers in the Caverns of Ithis while dodging Lord Ren’s spies and bonding with her pyrefalcon, Kesh.
  • Clean: Liora, a reluctant heir, enters a deadly trial to keep her crown. When a scheming lord frames her for sabotage, she must outwit rivals or lose both the throne and her only ally.

Same world, less noise, stronger line.

A quick template you can steal

  • Protagonist and status quo.
  • Inciting event that disrupts normal life.
  • Goal born from that disruption.
  • Central obstacle, human or systemic.
  • The choice that forces risk.
  • The cost of failure.

Now compress to 120–180 words. Read aloud. Tighten verbs. Cut hedges.

A sample summary, spoiler-free

Title: The Last Quiet Room

Genre: Psychological thriller, 85,000 words

When therapist Lena Ortiz takes over a locked ward after a colleague’s sudden death, a patient begins describing sessions only Lena remembers. Files vanish. Security footage blinks out. To protect her license and her daughter’s spot at a new school, Lena digs into the ward’s history and her predecessor’s off-the-books program. As staff turn hostile and a board review looms, Lena faces a choice. Expose a treatment that rewired memory, or accept a promotion that buries the truth and keeps her family safe. The decision will decide who walks out and who stays behind.

Note the focus on decisions and stakes. No twist revealed. Present tense throughout.

For memoir and narrative nonfiction

The same principles serve you well. Present the arc, not a life recap.

  • Memoir example: After a viral video ruins her classroom career, former teacher Priya takes a job at a warehouse to keep her parents housed. When a worker dies on her shift and management calls it an accident, Priya organizes a walkout that risks deportation for half the crew. She must choose between silence and a public fight that could sink her family or force change inside the company.

For prescriptive nonfiction, avoid spoilers by focusing on problem, approach, and outcome promise, not every chapter.

  • Prescriptive example: Drawing on new research and field interviews, Burnout at Noon offers a four-step lunch-hour method for salaried workers with no schedule control. Through case studies and simple tools, the program reduces fatigue and restores focus without quitting a job or spending money.

Quick checks before you hit send

  • Present tense from first line to last line.
  • One protagonist front and center.
  • Decision verbs over event nouns.
  • Emotional stakes on the page.
  • No ending revealed. Stop near the midpoint.
  • No subplots or world-building detours.
  • Word count tight and muscular.

A clean summary shows mastery. You set the stage, light the fuse, and leave the door closed on the final room. Let the agent want the pages to open that door.

Author Bio Strategy and Platform Building

Your bio sits at the end of the query like a handshake. Short, clean, relevant. Two or three sentences. No fluff. No life story.

Lead with proof

Start with publications, awards, or books. Use names an agent recognizes.

No credits yet? Keep calm. You still have options.

Add relevant expertise

Show why you are the person for this subject. Tie experience to the project.

Avoid degrees or jobs with no link to the book. An agent skims for signal, not backstory.

Platform that matters, and when to use it

For nonfiction, audience reach matters. Numbers only help when strong and specific. Think email list, social media, speaking, national media.

Soft numbers hurt more than they help. If reach sits under 10,000 in total, skip it. Focus on authority and access to sources.

For fiction, focus on writing and any subject expertise that deepens the book. Platform helps only when sizable or directly tied to readers for your genre.

Keep it brief and professional

Two to three sentences. Stop before a fourth. Use first person, since a query reads as a letter.

Humor in the book, sure. Jokes in the bio, risky. Clarity wins.

Newer writer, thin credits

Own where you stand. No apologies. One clean line beats padding.

Choose one or two. Done.

Prior self-publishing or related books

Be transparent, and give concise data.

If numbers fall low, mention the project without sales figures. Avoid defensive explanations.

Order that works

Example flow for fiction:

Example flow for nonfiction:

Quick templates to copy

Fiction:

Nonfiction:

Memoir:

Mini-exercise

Four strong examples

Final checks before you send

A tight bio signals readiness. The agent sees proof, not promises. Then the pages do the rest.

Personalization and Agent Research Tactics

Personalization is not flattery. It is proof of care. You know why you chose this agent, and you show it in one tight line.

Where to look, fast and smart

Work from primary sources. Skip gossip, screen grabs, and secondhand lists.

Keep notes. A simple spreadsheet saves your sanity.

What to say in the opener

Lead with one reason you reached out. Make it concrete and brief.

One line, then pivot to your hook. No paragraphs of praise. No life story.

Referencing clients without name-dropping

Name a client only when a clear link exists. Tone, audience, theme, or format. Explain the connection in one clause.

Avoid reaching. If the link feels thin, skip it.

Social media and events without the creep factor

Use public, professional info. No personal details.

No tagging in a live query. Email only, unless told otherwise.

R&Rs, contests, and referrals

Be clear and honest. Short, neutral phrasing wins.

Do not invent a connection. Editors talk. Agents too.

Tools that speed the work

Keep a cap on time. Fifteen minutes per agent is enough for a sharp line.

Lines you can tailor

Pick one and slot in your details.

Notice the nouns. No empty praise. No "I love your client list."

Mini-exercise: the ten-minute research sprint

Now paste your hook below it and send.

Red flags and boundaries

Never argue in public about rejections. Publishing is a small village.

What not to write

Swap those lines for one proof-driven sentence with a clear link to your project.

Quick checklist before you send