How To Personalise A Query Letter For Each Agent

Gary Smailes | 19 December 2025

What Personalisation Achieves (and How Much You Need)

Personalisation earns attention. It signals a real match, proves you read submission guidelines, and frames your pitch through the agent’s taste. One clean line often does more work than a gush-filled paragraph.

Keep it short. One to three tailored sentences up top. Then move straight to the pitch, metadata, and bio. You are selling a book, not a friendship.

Placement matters. Start with the greeting and a tailored line. Follow with the mini-synopsis. Close with a brief nod to guidelines if relevant.

What a strong line looks like

Aim for proof, not flattery. Use their words, but avoid parroting.

• Wishlist match:
  • Dear Ms. Patel, Your note about multigenerational mysteries with community stakes matches my 82k contemporary mystery set in a Queens bookstore.
• Client-aware:
  • Dear Mr. Ruiz, I enjoyed Tasha Cole’s Bitter Orange, and your interest in quiet menace fits my psychological thriller with a single-POV narrator.
• Tone and trope:
  • Dear Mx. Chen, You seek high-heat rivals-to-lovers with workplace tension. My 80k rom-com pairs a pastry chef and a food critic trapped on a TV set.

Three quick fixes to common misfires:

• Too vague:
  • “I think you would love my book.”
  • Fix: Name a wishlist phrase, client, or subgenre. Show the link.
• Too personal:
  • “I follow your dog on Instagram.”
  • Fix: Keep to professional signals, such as interviews, panels, or client titles.
• Too long:
  • “After reading twelve of your tweets last summer and rewatching your conference talk three times, I felt inspired to write…”
  • Fix: One or two sentences. Then the book.

Where it goes

• Greeting and tailored line come first.
• Mini-synopsis follows right away.
• Metadata sits near the end of the pitch paragraph or in a short final paragraph.
• A brief closing nod ties to guidelines: “Per your guidelines, I pasted the first 10 pages and a one-page synopsis below.”

How much you need

Think seasoning, not sauce. One to three sentences set context, then step aside. Your book must carry the weight. If the opening runs longer than three sentences before the pitch, trim to the sharpest proof of fit.

A quick template:

• Dear [Agent Surname],
• Personalised line keyed to wishlist, client, or taste.
• One beat that links to genre, tone, trope, or theme.
• Transition into the pitch: Title is an 88k [genre] about…

Example:

Dear Ms. Patel,

Your wishlist mentions small-town secrets and found family. My 90k upmarket novel centers on three sisters who inherit a failing diner and a sealed ledger that points to a missing person.

Title is…

Define your goal before you write

Pick a single aim for the tailored line. Then build to that aim.

• Prove fit with a wishlist phrase.
• Anchor comps in the agent’s lane.
• Flag a trope or tone they seek.
• Confirm compliance with a submission quirk, such as pasted pages or a synopsis.

One aim per line keeps focus. Two aims work when tight. Three aims start to sprawl.

Mini exercise: five minutes per agent

Timer on. One browser tab per source.

1. Copy one short wishlist phrase, with date and link. Example: “Looking for cozy fantasy with working-class heroes.”
2. Note one client title or comp near your lane.
3. Write one sentence that marries your project to those signals. Keep it under 30 words.
4. Add a guideline nod if needed. “Per your guidelines, pages pasted below.”

Examples from the exercise:

• “Your interest in cozy fantasy with working-class heroes matches my 95k story about a ferry mechanic who barters favors across an island town.”
• “You rep Claire Vaye Watkins and seek eco-themed nonfiction with strong voice. My proposal blends field reporting in the Salton Sea with family history.”

Common questions, quick answers

• How personal is too personal
  • Stay professional. Stick to wishlists, interviews, client books, and deals.
• Must the line restate genre and word count
  • Useful when it reinforces fit. If space runs tight, save metadata for the pitch paragraph.
• What if no public wishlist exists
  • Use agency guidelines, client lists, and deals. Build a line around category, subgenre, or tone shown through those sales.

A few do-and-don’ts

Do

• Mirror their vocabulary for category and subgenre.
• Keep comps recent and in range for audience.
• Double-check name and pronouns.

Don’t

• Quote long passages from interviews.
• Stuff the opening with biography.
• Promise “future bestseller” status or beg for mercy.

Personalisation sets the stage. Clarity in the pitch closes the deal. Give a precise nod to fit, then move on to the story.

Research That Matters (Fast, Targeted, Ethical)

Personalisation starts with respect. Respect for an agent’s time, list, and guidelines. Do focused research. Keep sources professional. Skip gossip.

Where to look

• Agency sites and individual guidelines. Read the genres they seek, word count ranges, file rules, and response windows. If a form exists, use the form. If email only, follow the subject line format they ask for.
• Manuscript Wishlist, conference bios, recent interviews, podcasts, and professional social feeds. Pull short, dated signals from places where agents speak about taste and wishlists.
• Client lists and recent deals. Use Publishers Marketplace, agency news posts, or author acknowledgments. This shows sales focus and taste by category.
• QueryTracker and community forums. Treat these as practical notes, not gospel. Look for patterns on pet peeves, cluttered inboxes, or closed periods.

Aim for current info. Check dates. If a wishlist line comes from 2018, tread carefully.

What to capture

Focus on data you can use in one sentence up top.

• Categories and subgenres. For example, “upmarket women’s fiction,” “cozy fantasy,” “domestic thriller.”
• Tone, tropes, and themes. For example, “hopeful horror,” “found family,” “sports romance,” “intergenerational drama.”
• Comp titles and authors they praise or represent. Note why those comps matter, such as voice, structure, or stakes.
• Hard noes. For example, “no prologues,” “no graphic violence,” “no pandemic plots.”
• Technicals. Pages to paste, attachment rules, subject line format, synopsis length, exclusive or simultaneous submissions.

Write short, neutral notes. Quote a phrase only when precision helps.

Fast method, zero fluff

Try a 15‑minute sweep per agent.

1. Agency site, two minutes. Screenshot the guidelines. Note genre lanes and any format quirks.
2. Wishlist source, five minutes. Copy one short, dated phrase that aligns with your project. Add a link.
3. Clients and deals, five minutes. Find two client names or one deal in your lane. Add links.
4. Practical notes, three minutes. Skim QueryTracker for common patterns. Add a one-line caution if needed.

Stop there. Enough to write a sharp personal line without falling into a research hole.

Build a one-page agent brief

One page keeps focus. Use the same layout for every target.

• Header: Agent name, pronouns, agency, date updated.
• Sources: Links with dates. Example, “MSWL, Apr 2025,” “Agency guidelines, Jun 2025.”
• Seeking: Categories and subgenres in their words. Three to five bullets.
• Taste markers: Tone, tropes, themes, heat level for romance, worldbuilding scope for SFF.
• Clients and deals: Three names or two recent sales with categories.
• Hard noes: Short list, quoted when useful.
• Technicals: Subject line format, pages to paste, file rules, synopsis length, exclusivity.
• Personalisation draft: One sentence written for use in your query.

Keep direct quotes short and exact. Use quotation marks and link the source. No paraphrase that warps meaning.

Sample personalisation draft lines pulled from a brief:

• “Your interest in ‘quiet menace’ aligns with my psychological thriller in a single POV.”
• “You seek cozy fantasy with working class heroes. My 92k standalone follows a ferry mechanic who keeps an island running on favors.”
• “You rep clients who write family-first upmarket fiction, often with food at the heart. My novel centers on three sisters rebuilding a diner after a fire.”

Ethical lines

• Use professional channels only. Agency sites, wishlists, interviews, panels, and public professional feeds.
• Skip personal posts. No pet photos, no family news, no health updates in your letter.
• Respect closures. If closed to queries, wait or move on.
• Follow format rules. If guidelines say paste pages, do not attach files.
• Credit sources. Date-stamp notes, link quotes, avoid chopped context.
• Avoid pressure. No “first look” demands, no guilt language.

Professional respect builds trust before page one.

What to ignore

Not every breadcrumb helps. Leave out:

• Old conference chatter with no date.
• Vague statements like “open to anything.” Replace with sales history and client books.
• Mega-famous comps from decades ago. Use recent, midlist comps closer to your lane.
• Hearsay from anonymous threads with no pattern.

Clarity beats volume. A few hard facts serve you better than a scrapbook.

Mini exercise, five minutes

Timer on.

• Paste one wishlist phrase into your brief, with date and link.
• Note one client book in your lane.
• Draft one personal line under 30 words that ties those two to your project.
• Add one guideline nod for the close. For example, “Per guidelines, pages pasted below.”

Now you have a line ready to drop into the greeting. The rest of the query carries the story.

Where and How to Personalise Inside the Query Letter

Personalisation lives in a few strategic spots. One or two lines prove fit. The rest sells the book.

Subject line

Follow the agent’s stated format. No guessing.

No format listed? Use:

Query: TITLE (Genre, Word Count), Your Name

Short, clear, searchable.

Greeting and first line

Lead with proof of fit. One sentence.

• Wishlist tie-in:
  • “Your call for high-stakes rom-coms with workplace rivalry aligns with my 80k contemporary romance set in a Michelin kitchen.”
  • “Your interest in cozy fantasy with working class heroes pairs with my 92k standalone about a ferry mechanic who keeps an island running on favors.”
• Client-aware version:
  • “I enjoyed CLIENT’s TITLE and your note about ‘hopeful horror,’ which matches my tone.”
  • “I loved CLIENT’s TITLE for its found family focus, a thread central to my book.”

Avoid flattery. Use taste, clients, or a line from a recent interview. One sentence, then move to the pitch.

Align the pitch

Mirror the agent’s vocabulary without parroting. Place key category cues early. Make the stakes plain.

• “An 88k domestic thriller in single POV, set over one weekend.”
• “Upmarket family drama with food at the center, set in a small coastal town.”
• “Cozy fantasy with a nonmagical protagonist, low-stakes community conflict, and a slow-burn romance.”

If an agent asks for specific tropes, spotlight them inside the pitch paragraph.

• “Features found family, rivals-to-lovers, and a workplace power imbalance.”
• “Delivers locked-room tension, a final-turn reveal, and a morally gray lead.”

Keep sentences clean and concrete.

Comps tailored to taste

Pick two recent comps from the agent’s lane. Add a relevance clause.

• “For the sharp banter of The Ex Talk and the workplace tension of Set On You.”
• “For the intimate dread of Such Sharp Teeth and the mother-daughter bite of The Push.”
• “For the cozy vibe of Legends & Lattes and the community stakes of The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches.”

If an agent praises a comp, acknowledge proximity without claiming sameness.

• “Comparable to X and Y for voice-forward humor and workplace rivalry.”

Avoid blockbusters from decades ago. Use books within the last three to five years when possible.

Bio relevance

Share credentials that matter to this list. One or two lines.

• “Short fiction in One Story and Ploughshares.”
• “MFA from Iowa, former pastry chef, which informs the kitchen scenes.”
• “ER nurse with ten years on nights, accuracy vetted by two MD beta readers.”
• “Host of a 20k-subscriber history newsletter, speaking regularly at regional libraries.”

Skip unrelated life stories. Keep focus on authority, experience, and platform.

Closing line

End with a direct nod to guidelines.

• “Per your guidelines, I have pasted the first 10 pages and a one-page synopsis below.”
• “As requested on your form, pages appear double-spaced, with contact details in the header.”
• “Simultaneous submission.”

Short, polite, precise.

Build a modular query

Create a base query, then swap a few slots per agent.

• Subject line: either their format or “Query: TITLE (Genre, Word Count), Your Name.”
• Greeting: “Dear Ms. Surname,” or “Dear Mx. Surname,” with correct pronouns.
• Personal line slot: one sentence tied to wishlist, client, or interview.
• Pitch paragraph: one sentence reserved for a trope or tone the agent prefers.
• Comps slot: two current titles with a quick “for X and Y” rationale.
• Bio slot: one or two relevant credentials.
• Closing slot: guideline nod, pages included, synopsis length, and any exclusivity note.

Save each version with clear filenames. Example: BaseQuery_v1 and Surname_v1a.

Quick examples by scenario

• Romance, workplace rivals:
  • “Your interest in high-conflict rom-coms with workplace rivalry aligns with my 80k contemporary romance set in a Michelin kitchen. Comparable to The Ex Talk and Set On You for banter and career stakes.”
• SFF, cozy:
  • “You seek cozy fantasy with low-magic worlds. My 92k standalone centers on a ferry mechanic holding a small island together. Readers of Legends & Lattes and Irregular Witches will recognize the community focus.”
• Thriller, psychological:
  • “Your note about ‘quiet menace’ fits my 85k psychological thriller in single POV. For the claustrophobic unease of The Last House on Needless Street and the mother-daughter tension of The Push.”

Each example opens with fit, then folds taste into comps and pitch details.

Micro checklist before sending

• Name and pronouns correct.
• Subject line per instructions.
• Personal sentence ties to a dated source.
• Comps recent and relevant.
• One pitch sentence highlights a trope or tone from the wishlist.
• Closing line mirrors their format rules.

Five‑minute drill

Timer on.

1. Paste one wishlist quote into your notes, with link and date.
2. Draft a single personal line under 25 words using that quote.
3. Choose two current comps and add a nine‑word relevance clause.
4. Write a closing line that references guidelines.

Drop those pieces into your base query. Send. Then move to the next name on your list.

Build a Repeatable Personalisation System

Chaos drains energy. Systems keep you steady. Set this up once, then run it every week without fuss.

The spreadsheet

One tab. Clean columns. No guesswork later.

• Agent name and pronouns
• Agency
• Genres sought
• Hard noes
• Wishlist phrases, quotes, or themes
• Preferred comps or tropes
• Submission format, form or email, pages to paste, attachment rules
• Subject line format
• Date sent
• Response and date
• Notes, tone, speed, pet peeves
• Sources with links and dates

Sample row, trimmed for clarity:

• Name: Taylor Reed, she/her
• Agency: North Coast Lit
• Genres: Upmarket women’s fiction, domestic suspense, romance
• Hard noes: Prologues, graphic on-page harm to animals
• Wishlist: “Workplace power dynamics,” “found family,” “hopeful endings”
• Preferred comps: The Dutch House, The Paper Palace
• Format: Query + first 10 pages pasted, synopsis attached
• Subject: “Query: TITLE, Category, Word Count”
• Date sent: 2 Feb
• Response: Partial 10 Feb
• Notes: Likes cold opens, dislikes rhetorical questions
• Sources: MSWL profile, podcast on 1 Jan, agency page updated 15 Dec

Keep dates. Keep links. Your future self will thank you.

The snippet library

You need ready sentences for common themes. Store them in one doc. Label each by theme. Keep each snippet to one or two lines.

• Cozy mystery, community stakes:
  • “Your interest in small-town puzzles with community stakes aligns with my 72k cozy set in a lakeside bookshop.”
• Dark academia:
  • “Your call for campus novels with moral rot and tight POV suits my 95k dark academia set in a crumbling conservatory.”
• Upmarket family drama:
  • “You seek multigenerational stories with legacy conflict. My 86k novel traces three sisters who inherit a failing citrus grove.”
• Hopeful horror:
  • “Your note on ‘hopeful horror’ fits my 80k story about a teen who bargains with a lake spirit to save her town.”
• Queer YA sports:
  • “Your wishlist highlights sports with friendship-first vibes. My 70k YA follows a goalie forced to share the net with her ex.”
• SFF, cozy:
  • “You mentioned low-stakes fantasy with community warmth. My 92k standalone centers on a ferry mechanic who keeps an island moving.”

Refresh snippets every quarter. Trim or swap words to match each agent’s phrasing. Do not parrot whole quotes.

Mini exercise:

• Pick one theme from your book.
• Draft two variants of a personalization sentence.
• Cap each at 25 words.
• Save both in the library with a date.

Version control

Name things like a person who expects to find them again.

• Base query: TITLE_Base_v1
• Agent version: TITLE_Reed_v1a
• Change log in the filename or a simple text note at the top of the file
  • v1a, swapped comps to The Paper Palace and The Dutch House
  • v1b, greeting line uses “workplace power dynamics”
  • v2, trimmed bio to one line, added nursing credential

Archive sent versions in a “Sent” folder. Duplicate before edits. Never overwrite the base.

QA checklist, five quick passes

Before you press send, run this list. Out loud works.

• Name and pronouns match the site. Spelled right, accents included.
• Subject line follows their format.
• Guidelines followed on pages, synopsis, and attachments.
• Category, genre, and word count match across the letter and form fields.
• Comps from the last three to five years, in the agent’s lane, with a short relevance clause.
• Personal line ties to a dated source, interview, wishlist, or client title.
• Bio mentions one or two relevant credits or lived expertise.
• Contact info present in the signature.

If one line wobbles, fix it. Do not send a maybe.

Batch strategy

Work in small waves. Five to ten agents per batch. Enough volume to learn, small enough to adjust.

• Tiering: Start with strong fits from your research brief.
• A or B test: Two versions of the personalization line, or two sets of comps.
• Timing: Send over one week, not one hour, to avoid errors from fatigue.
• Tracking: In your sheet, tag each query with “A” or “B.” Record request rate for each variant.

After two weeks, review results. Keep the winner. Retire the loser. Adjust the base query if a pattern emerges.

A 30‑minute research block that pays off

Set a timer for 30 minutes. One batch only.

• Minute 0 to 10. Pull sources for five agents. Copy wishlist quotes, note dates, log guidelines.
• Minute 10 to 20. Draft or paste a snippet for each agent. Lock one sentence per agent.
• Minute 20 to 25. Pick two fresh comps for the whole batch, unless an agent invites something narrower. Add a nine-word relevance clause.
• Minute 25 to 30. Prep the subject line format, check submission rules, and queue files.

Stop when the timer ends. Per agent work comes next.

Five minutes per agent

Open the base query. Swap the parts, then check.

• Paste the greeting with correct name and pronouns.
• Insert the one-line personalization from your snippets.
• Tweak one sentence in the pitch to foreground a trope or tone from the wishlist.
• Drop in the two comps with the relevance clause.
• Trim the bio to one or two lines that match this list.
• Set the closing line to mirror guidelines, pages pasted or attached, synopsis length.

Run the QA checklist. Send. Log the date and variant.

Maintenance rhythm

• Weekly, add two new snippets based on new interviews or updates.
• Monthly, prune stale comps, add newer titles, adjust lanes.
• Quarterly, reread your base query with fresh eyes, or ask a critique partner for one pass.

Systems do the dull lifting so your brain stays on story. Build once. Repeat often. Let the data guide tweaks, not moods.

Tailoring by Category and Genre

Agents read for lanes. Speak in those lanes. Name the pieces they care about, then pitch to match.

Romance

Heat, trope, and ending matter. State them up front.

What to include:

• Heat level, closed-door, open-door, or explicit
• Trope, grumpy and sunshine, rivals to lovers, second chance
• Ending, HEA or HFN
• Tone, low angst, high stakes, rom-com vs. emotional drama
• Imprint awareness, mirror houses they sell to

Sample lines:

• “Your wish for workplace rivals with closed-door heat aligns with my 80k contemporary set in a Michelin kitchen. HEA on page.”
• “You name small-town romance with found family as a focus. Mine features a librarian and a firefighter who rebuild a town festival, with open-door scenes.”
• “Given your Berkley Romance deals for witty rom-coms, my voice leans bright with sharp banter and a guaranteed HEA.”

Mini check:

• Did you name heat, trope, and ending in one breath
• Do comps sit near the agent’s lane and imprint history

Quick tweak exercise:

• Write one sentence naming trope and heat. Trim to 22 words. Swap in the agent’s phrasing for trope if listed.

SFF

Signal subgenre, scope, and one hook. Keep worldbuilding clean.

What to include:

• Subgenre, cozy fantasy, low fantasy, epic, space opera
• Scope, standalone, duology, series-ready
• One world hook, low magic, hopepunk vibe, sentient trains
• Stakes level, village, planet, empire
• Tone, whimsical, gritty, hopeful

Sample lines:

• “You invite cozy fantasy with low magic and community stakes. My 92k standalone follows a ferry mechanic who keeps an island moving with one quiet enchantment.”
• “Your list favors epic with intimate POV. My 120k fantasy tracks two sisters across a collapsing matriarchy, with magic tied to sea glass.”
• “You mention hopepunk. My space opera centers on a repair crew who choose mercy over conquest, with shipboard politics and found family.”

Mini check:

• Is the hook singular and concrete
• Does scope match their appetite, no surprise doorstop if they prefer tight standalones

Exercise:

• Underline the one-world hook in your pitch. If more than one, cut to the strongest.

Mystery and Thriller

Agents expect clarity on subgenre, POV, stakes, and twist style. Name them.

What to include:

• Subgenre, procedural, domestic, psychological, techno, legal
• POV, first person, close third, dual timeline
• Stakes, intimate marriage at risk, citywide manhunt
• Twist promise, not the spoiler, but the flavor, double-cross, unreliable narrator, time lock

Sample lines:

• “You seek domestic suspense with tight POV. My 85k novel follows a nanny who discovers a second family photo album in her employer’s safe.”
• “Your list highlights procedural with authentic detail. I am a former CSI, and my 90k thriller tracks a cold-case unit through a wildfire zone.”
• “Given your praise for The Last Thing He Told Me, mine leans quiet menace over body count, with a reveal tied to a forged inheritance.”

Mini check:

• Does the line promise subgenre and POV
• Are comps recent and in the same stakes range

Exercise:

• Write two versions of your twist hint in nine words. Pick the sharper one.

YA and MG

Age, voice, and theme lead here. Signal content range and school or home anchors.

What to include:

• Age, YA or MG, lower MG or upper MG if relevant
• Voice register, snappy, earnest, lyrical
• Themes on their wishlist, neurodiversity rep, sports, friendship-first, immigrant family
• Content edges, light romance, no gore, no profanity
• Setting anchors, school team, camp, blended family

Sample lines:

• “You ask for YA sports with friendship-first focus. My 70k contemporary follows a goalie who must share the net with her ex-best friend.”
• “Your MG wishlist mentions neurodiversity rep and adventure at school. My 45k story stars a pattern-loving fifth grader who maps a haunted boiler room.”
• “You rep heartfelt YA with family stakes. My 78k novel centers on a diner kid balancing AP Chem with a parent’s eviction hearing.”

Mini check:

• Did you name age and voice
• Do themes mirror wishlist language without parroting full quotes

Exercise:

• Replace one adjective in your line with a concrete anchor, team name, club, class.

Narrative Nonfiction and Proposals

Lead with why you are the writer, who will read, and where the book sits on a shelf.

What to include:

• Authority, job role, credentials, lived expertise
• Platform, newsletter size, speaking, media, relevant metrics
• Audience, readers of X who want Y
• Market gap, missing angle, new data, fresh frame
• Comparable titles by the agent or agency

Sample lines:

• “You represent rigor-forward history with narrative drive. I am a Pulitzer finalist covering water rights, with a 25k-subscriber newsletter and regular NPR segments.”
• “Your deals for prescriptive wellness with science-first framing fit this proposal. I am a board-certified sleep physician, with 100k TikTok followers and a clinic waitlist.”
• “Given your sales of Quiet and Bittersweet, my book speaks to reflective leaders who need language for grief at work, with original survey data from 3,200 respondents.”

Mini check:

• Does the opener prove authority in one line
• Do comps signal shelf and audience, not aspirational fame alone

Exercise:

• Draft a one-sentence market gap. Start with “Readers who want X lack Y.”

Match the agent’s vocabulary

Category labels carry weight. Use the agent’s version, not yours.

• Upmarket women’s fiction vs. book club fiction
• Psychological thriller vs. domestic suspense
• Contemporary romance vs. rom-com
• Low fantasy vs. urban fantasy
• Upper MG vs. YA crossover

Quick fixes:

• Lift exact labels from the agent page, not from a friend’s take
• Mirror heat terms, closed-door vs. open-door
• Keep age category precise, YA is not MG

One last exercise:

• Paste your greeting line into a blank doc. Swap every category label for the agent’s preferred term. Read aloud. If a word clunks, simplify.

Give agents proof of fit in their language. Name the knobs they turn. Then show a book that belongs on their list.

Pitfalls to Avoid (with Quick Fixes)

Agents see the same mistakes every week. Skip the potholes. Send a cleaner query, get a cleaner read.

Over‑flattery or irrelevance

Praise without purpose feels sticky. A query is not a fan letter. Keep focus on books, lists, deals, wishlists, panels.

Wrong:

• “Your vacation photos are adorable. Your dog looks like mine. I know we’d get along.”

Right:

• “You asked for high-stakes rom-coms with workplace rivalry. My 80k contemporary romance centers on rival sommeliers under one roof.”

Quick fix:

• One sentence, one professional signal. Wishlist line, client title, panel takeaway, recent deal.

Mini exercise:

• Write a single sentence linking your book to one item from the agent’s wishlist or deal page. Hit 20 words or fewer.

Misalignment

Hard noes mean no. Near misses waste time. If your premise bumps a boundary, move on.

Wrong:

• “You prefer no prologues. Mine has a brief prologue, though the story needs it.”

Right:

• “You invite dual-timeline family drama with a secret ledger. My upmarket novel delivers that focus without a prologue.”

Quick fix:

• Compare your pitch to each no and yes on the agent page. Any clash, skip and save the query for someone else.

Mini exercise:

• List three elements agents often decline in your category. Circle any match in your book. If a circle appears, find a different target.

Name, pronoun, or title errors

Incorrect names or pronouns sour trust fast. Wrong client titles do the same.

Wrong:

• “Dear Mr. Taylor,” to a nonbinary agent.
• “I loved your client Sarah Lee’s The Quiet Ones,” when the book title reads The Quiet Hours.

Right:

• “Dear Mx. Taylor,”
• “I enjoyed Sarah Lea’s The Quiet Hours and your note about hopeful horror.”

Quick fix:

• Copy the name and pronouns from the agency site. Paste into your salutation. Check client spellings on publisher pages.

Mini exercise:

• Open your query. Highlight every proper noun. Verify each one on a primary source, agency or publisher, then lock the file.

Outdated or mega‑famous comps

Blockbusters fog the signal. Old comps miss today’s shelf. Agents want audience and tone, not a moonshot.

Wrong:

• “Think Harry Potter meets The Da Vinci Code.”

Right:

• “For the found family warmth of Legends & Lattes and the workplace tension of The Undertaking of Hart and Mercy.”

Quick fix:

• Two recent comps, last three to five years, sitting in the agent’s lane. Add a short because clause, one feature per comp.

Mini exercise:

• Write “for the [feature] of X and the [feature] of Y.” Swap features until the pair feels specific and true.

Personalisation bloat

A long preamble delays the goods. You want a fast nod of fit, then story.

Wrong:

• Three lines on a conference, two lines on a podcast, one line on a tweet, then the pitch.

Right:

• “Your wish for small-town mysteries with community stakes aligns with my 78k standalone featuring a carpenter-sleuth and a town land trust.” Then pitch.

Quick fix:

• One to three tailored sentences. Lead with the strongest link. Cut the rest.

Mini exercise:

• Bold the first three sentences of your query. Delete anything not tied to wishlist terms, client books, or guidelines.

Run a final fit test

Strong personalisation fits in one line you could speak out loud without flinching.

Try this frame:

• “You seek [clear category or subgenre] with [one tone or trope]. My [word count] [category] delivers [hook or stakes] in that lane.”

Example:

• “You seek psychological thrillers with quiet menace. My 86k novel follows a hospice nurse who doubts a patient’s last confession.”

If no honest sentence arrives, research more or skip. Save your energy for agents who invite your flavor.

Quick fix:

• Keep a sticky note on your monitor with the above frame. Fill, read aloud, send when the sentence rings clean.

Mini exercise:

• Time yourself. Sixty seconds to write the one line for one agent. If the timer wins, regroup and pick a better match.

Frequently Asked Questions

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